Ending It Etiquette

5 Steps to a (hopefully) more harmonious split

Considering my most recent breakup involved screaming through a phone on Grafton st. I got to thinking, is there a good way to breakup with someone?! We’ve all been through the break-up, make-up, break-up cycle, there’s no such thing as a good break-up, or is there? The existence of bad break-ups makes me wonder, surely then, someone, somewhere got it right. This led me to the conclusion that what we all really need, is a break-up guide. There’s no easy way to say ‘I don’t want to be with you anymore’ but surely there’s a way to soften the blow. Here are my five steps to a hopefully happier break-up. Bear in mind I have yet to

1 Don’t compare

All break-ups are different, just because you stayed friends with one ex does not mean you should feel the need to remain friends with every break-up, especially not if they broke your heart.

2 Cruel to be kind

Yes you’ll want to have one last cuddle, one last kiss, one last.. No! If a break-up has been initiated there is no going back. Be cruel to yourself, don’t text, don’t call, delete on Facebook if you feel you’re going to stalk him for the next six months. Its not healthy. Similarly if you are the one initiating the break-up don’t cave and respond to any dialogue that’s going to lead to another emotionally charged ‘can’t we just try’ conversation.

3 Clear and concise

You don’t need to list off every time you felt things were less than perfect. Reminding him now that never receiving a birthday present was bad form is totally irrelevant, be a big girl and tell him you just don’t want to be together anymore. Similarly if you’re the victim of break up and not the breaker upper don’t punish yourself by screaming ‘Whyyyyy’. If a break up has been instigated reasons are usually fairly obvious.

4 Face to Face

Don’t be a baby. Turn up for the ‘talk’, as hard as it is it provides essential closure. I’ve made this mistake and it makes moving on harder, it makes seeing each other for the first time harder, have the conversation.

5 Stick to your guns

There will be moments of loneliness, there will be times you just want to text him, you just want a quick word. No petal, don’t do it. Remember this golden little phrase:

fight for a spot

If he’s the one contacting you, seriously consider replying, it may feel unkind to ignore advances but refer to rule 2.

6 Listen to your mother

I know I said five steps but this is worth a mention! Listen to your mother, or your close circle, choose your advisers wisely. Mama knows best but the friend-of-a-friend you meet on a Saturday night does not.

Don’t be hard on yourself, buy cupcakes, buy shoes, be a boss.

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Blog Awards!

Absolutely amazing time at the Irish Blog Awards 2013 last night! I was a  lady and got to escort my gorgeous friend LolaDee to the event! Not only was she nominated but the little legend won Best Blog Post 2013. So unbelievably happy for Lorna, a true blogger who did it all herself! Read her AWARD WINNING POST and much more here: http://www.loladee.com/

lorna and award

So when most people are invited to prestigious events like this they go through a process of planning. They plan their outfit, they plan their journey, they make a conscious effort to plan, so they don’t later face colossal amounts of stress. Lorna and I, did not plan, anything. At 2pm that day I bought my outfit for the cabaret themed extravaganza! God bless Penny’s. We then spent 3 hours running around Dublin like headless chickens attempting to time travel our way to Naas. Four Luas tickets, 2 bus tickets and 2 refunded train tickets, we arrived!!

luas tickets

The Arrival: They say arriving stylishly late is quite the statement. We were not stylish, we were out of breath, sweaty, panicky and I had sparkly hot pants riding up where no sequins need to be. But late as we were we took our seats, and our wine, and got settled for the evening.

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With Lorna’s phone dead I took on the role of tweeter, woman against the machine. Here’s a few of our ramblings:

blog tweet

After the awards, Lorna was interviewed and photographed, I looked on squealing ‘She’s a celebrity!!’. Then in true classy bird style we made our way to Harcourt Street to dance the night away! I highly recommend wearing an over-sized headpiece to Coppers, the reaction was nothing short of awe. I’m quite glad my bow headpiece got the glory it deserved in Coppers actually, it was playing to the wrong crowd on Abbey Street at 4pm as we began our journey. But never fear, when you feel judged for wearing sparkly hot-pants in central Dublin there is only one solution, hum the Sex and the City them tune to yourself. Do do do do dooo dooo do do do dooo dooo dooo…

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Today I achieved very little except sending ludicrous snap-chats of the penis straws my mum sent me. Hope you had a lovely weekend!

penis straws

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Graduation

I experimented with a few titles for this post, ‘Graduation: It’s all Over’, ‘Graduation: It’s all beginning’, ‘Graduation: What the f**k now?’ but all that did was increase anxiety! Graduation was certainly bittersweet, I loved college, the classes and seminars paled in comparison to the fun I was having but I’ll never regret a minute of how I spent my time. So when it came to saying goodbye college and hello world I felt quite the array of emotions. Firstly I felt incredibly jet lagged having flown Boston-Dublin and arrived a mere 24 hours before the event, not my best planning! Then as I collected my little piece of paper I felt an overwhelming sense of gratefulness, gratefulness to my parents for encouraging me to choose a course I was interested in, gratefulness to my college for providing so many amazing opportunities, grateful to the friends I made, grateful to the boys I loved, grateful to the whole entire universe. I’m a graduate, I have a degree, I’m unreaaaaaal. Then after a lovely meal with my family a sudden ton of bricks hit me. I am a grownup. I am a grownup. Oh no! What on earth? There’s been some sort of mistake, I still listen to Taylor Swift, I still bite my nails. This is not the image of me as a grownup I imagined! After quite a few unrestful sleeps, a lot of googling of the phrase ‘gap year’ and tears upon tears. I remembered a little something, out there in my sea of confusion, panic and early twenties angst, one phrase reached out to me ‘Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together’ Elizabeth Taylor. So in quite a haze I did just that, I raided my mum’s bacardi, I put on my reddest red and sat on my bed in my fluffy pajamas. I’m not quite sure what’s next here, but with pending alcoholism I feel a return to Dublin is imminent.

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1368808_10200211625728209_500399592_nGrad photo framed and on the mantlepiece less than 24 hours after ceremony, my mother is nothing if not efficient!  

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Big thank you to my gorgeous godmother who lent me this dress for the big day! Went with this simple fitted navy dress, black peeptoes, and some raybans for the sneaky sunshine that we had!

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